I write about what you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what Him.
               Sonya Contreras

The Sacrifice of Obedience

I’ve sent a lot of time in the past several weeks talking about roles of husbands and wives. Why?
Because we have forgotten them.
Instead of the church reflecting what God has intended, it reflects the world’s priorities—with “nice” people.
Why do I say this?
Women provide for their families.
Women have forsaken their children. 

You say, “That’s harsh.”
Let me explain.
It is the men’s role to provide. That has been established in this article from a Biblical basis SEE What Is Man.
Yet, women are working, instead of what Titus 2:5 says, “be keepers at home.”
Do you know what being a keeper at home means?
It means you stay at home.
You don’t have an “out” in case marriage doesn’t go so well.
You don’t use family as your hobby and your career as your goal.
You must depend upon your husband for all provisions.
You change your priorities—you can’t have “nice” things all the time. You must wait, budget and ask.

But it also means…
You don’t have a divided heart— where your time and energy goes to an employer, even when your child is sick at home.
You don’t avoid bonding with your baby because you must leave him soon.
You don’t look like the world—in fact, the world looks at you like an anomaly. You stand out. They wonder why?
But you know why?
Because God said so.

What happens if the husband can’t make enough?
I recently saw a picture of a two child family waving good-bye to the dad as he went off to work. It was from the 1950’s. The saying said, it use to be that one income could support a family. Too bad it can’t anymore.
Know why?
Because now families must have more “nice things.”
Graduates from college expect to live in houses that their parents couldn’t afford until they had been married longer. 
Not only do they expect the house, but all the furnishings that go with it.
Our wants have become needs. And we have demanded them at the cost of our families.
Babies don’t need much. Not a nursery. Not a crib. Not a changing table.
We’ve given them everything they could ever imagine, but neglected what God made to be most important.
We have sacrificed our babies to get our things.
Babies need their mom. 
God has told us to be keepers at home.
Stay with our babies.

But it doesn’t stop with babies. It means to train up our children.
We have allowed the world to train our children and wonder why they leave church when they can.
Even the church has encouraged putting your child in his special class.
How do you have “quality time” when you are running your child from recital, to practice, to school, to games?
Do not delude yourself, you are not training your child—the world is.
You are just the chauffeur.

Know what being a keeper at home is?
She stays at home training her child—over and over for the same thing until he gets it. 
How can she do this?
Because she is at home with them all the time. 

You know what that does?
That shows to the world that God’s ways work.

People often ask us what we DID to get our boys like they are.
It’s not a magic formula than poof it works.
It’s obedience to what God said.
People want their children to look like ours.
But they don’t want to obey.
Know what it takes to obey?

…at first.
People will say, “Your husband makes enough for two incomes.”
Not when he was in school, we had one baby and I stayed at home.
We prayed for our rent money. We had to depend on God.

We had a roommate. We even lived with Joey’s folks while he was in school for a short time.
We had one car for the first six children—even when we lived an hour from groceries and my husband left for army drill.
Our hand-me-downs passed through eight boys (if they made it that far.)
We didn’t have a bed until our 8th child. We slept on the floor.

The world asks, “What about her career?”
I have a masters in science education. I taught before marriage.
That degree aided me in being the help-meet  my husband needed.
God uses all the training He gives for the job He brings you, too.
Nothing is wasted.

Staying at home is hard. It’s easier to work. 
Changing diapers and disciplining children for the same thing every day is not rewarding. 
Teaching “a” like “apple” is not fun for me; it’s torture, for my sons and me.
If my husband didn’t encourage and support me, there’d be no one else to give it. 

When a wife earns money, she thinks of it as “hers.” Yeah, it’s shared with everyone, but it allows her to treat herself to special things.
Those special things add up: dinner out, work clothes, nails and hair style.
When she has to ask, it’s humbling. 
She can’t do it by herself.
Neither can he.
By accepting what her husband provides, God strengthens their relationship.
They “become one” in a greater way.

But It’s not a Sacrifice… It’s Choosing to Obey.
Know what we’ve seen in our boys when they marry? 
They have married wives who have decided to submit to God and to them.
(And it is a decision. It doesn’t just happen.)
Every single wife has chosen to stay home. 
For some, it’s extra hard. 
But they recognize the difference—and they want it.

Now, I don't see the diapers, nor the discipline, I see the blessing those boys are now.
And I enjoy them with my husband.

Obedience—be keepers at home—it’s worth it. 


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Women's Roles
Find other articles about women's roles here:
The Sacrifice of Obedience
Why Boys Fight? And Is that Good?
Is Your Family Different?
Created for Him reprint
Gender Differences Backed by Science
What Should Men Do? reprint
Where Are the Men? reprint
What Is Man? reprint
Man VS Woman: Making Man Act Like a Woman
Man VS Woman: Is It Eqality We Seek? reprint
How Do You See Sin?
Marriage Is a Covenant before God
Are You Precious?
What's a Mother-In-Law To Do?
A Promise Is a Promise
Happily Ever After
Point Lobos, Monterrey
Where You Go, I Will Go
Protecting Our Men
What Makes a Marriage Work?
And the Two Shall Be One
Do You Let Your Husband Love You?
An Added Resource for You
Is Jezebel in Your Midst?
Can You Say, "No"?
Are You Losing Your Mind?
Expect Great Things from God
The Making of a Man part 4
The Making of a Man part 3
The Making of a Man part 2
The Making of a Man
What Kind of a Crown Are You?
Do You Like Your Husband?
Is Your Husband a Pushover?
Did You Marry a Crazy Man? 
Is Your Husband Crushing You?
Are You Dependent?
Male vs Female: Is It Equality We Seek?
Are You a Nag?
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A Way to a Man's Heart Is through His Stomach
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Are You Appreciated?
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Valentine's Day: Help Your Husband Out

Created for Him
Do You Help Your Husband?
Made To Conquer

Women Working
How Much Does It Cost for Moms To Work?
How Much Does It Cost for Moms To Stay at Home?
Margaret Thatcher, She Changed the
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Biblical Manhood
Find more articles about Biblical Manhood here:
What Is Man?
Where Are the Men?
What Should a Man Do?

Biblical Womanhood
Find more articles about Womanhood here:
What Is Your Choice?
Letting Him Protect
Are You a Friend?
Who Controls the Money?
The Sacrifice of Thanksgiving: How 
   To Make Your Husband Love You

The Power of a Smile: How To 
    Make Your Husband Love You

Superwoman: Is She Believable?

Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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