​What God Lost

Part Two

It’s me, Nathaniel, the angel. 
Remember the story I was telling you? How God created man to have communion with him. But because of man’s sin, it was lost.
Instead of desiring to please and glorify God, as was the Creator’s intent, man glorifies himself.
Yet God still desired man’s companionship. 
He promised a way for man to enter God’s presence again.

In the meantime, God gave His law and sent His prophets to show man what he was missing.
Man ignored them.
Finally God sent His only Son, Jesus.
That’s where I left you last time, at Christmas. 
We angels had given messages to Zacharius, the father of John, forerunner who would tell of God’s Son coming. 
Then messages were sent to Mary, the mother of God’s Son. 
It’s difficult for me to understand God’s Son, Who we’ve seen since we were created before the world, needing a human mother—but that’s just how far God went to reach man. 
Then a message to Joseph, His earthly father, who cared for Mary and God’s Son—as if God needed any help! 
But God is gracious and instructed Joseph many times through our angelic messenger system to flee from the Enemy’s grasp.

The Enemy being Lucifer, the brightest and highest angel, who chose not to obey God and was cast from God’s presence, along with those angels who aligned with Lucifer.
Ever since, the Enemy desires to destroy man and steal the glory due God’s name. 
He doesn’t know the future, but the Enemy does know God’s Word. Just like he twisted it to deceive Eve, he would use it against God—every time he can.
If God ever failed in keeping His Word, the Enemy would be there to tell God.
But he’s never been able to do that. 
Because God’s Word is truth, every Word, for all ages. 
(I speak like a man, who sees time, since as angels, we have no time).

The Enemy’s problem is, just because he knows God’s Word, he doesn’t know WHEN things will happen. 
That makes him a step behind God every time.
Man calls this prophecy, but neither man nor angels can even imagine how God’s things will take place.
After all, they’re God’s plans. And we can’t think like God.
Like all those prophecies telling of the coming of His Son—they told who, what, where, when, why and how—but man was still surprised! And the Enemy was caught off-guard.
That’s God for you. His plans are beyond our comprehension, even when He tells you beforehand!
But I do know this—God fulfills His Word—just when He wants.

Where was I going with all this?
Mmm….That’s right.

God told Joseph to flee to Egypt with His infant Son, just in time, for the Enemy killed all babies two years’ and younger.
When Joseph returned to Israel, he settled in Nazareth, all according to God’s predictions and plan.
As we watched from heaven, we could check off prophecy after prophecy fulfilled before our eyes.
I wished I could see the anger those completed prophecies brought to the Enemy. I’d gloat—and of course, God wouldn’t want that. Probably why He made me to keep my eyes on His business….instead of trying to figure out what the Enemy planned next.

There was the time, since man lives in time, Jesus was twelve years old. — if I counted years like man, I’d be…(thinking) more than a few thousand years old! I’d be pretty old for man…but angels don’t age. Guess that’s another advantage of having no time….
You didn’t ask for all that, but when Jesus was 12, Mary and Joseph journeyed to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover.
On the way home, they left behind Jesus. 
After searching and finding Him in the temple, Mary reprimanded him. His response reflected his focus. “Did you not know, I must be about My Father’s business?”
This confused his earthly parents.
All us angels knew what “Father” He was talking about.
God’s face beamed.

What had Jesus done in the temple those missing days? 
Asked questions. 
The teachers were trained in God’s Word.
But they had added to God’s rules, thinking they could achieve their own righteousness without God’s help.
Jesus’s questions made them doubt their self-induced righteousness. 
Their righteousness wasn’t enough.
No man is good enough.
Because what man needs is God’s righteousness.
Those seeds of doubt prepared them for what Jesus would say later. 
Though I speak in human time. 

Not much was written about his growing up years. 
It was quiet in the Scriptures. 
It was also quiet in heaven. 
But we do know his brother, James, refused to believe who He was. 
The Enemy planted jealousy and competition in him. 
Can you imagine anyone trying to be like God?
That was the Enemy’s downfall. 
That will also be man’s—EVERY TIME.

Jesus—it’s hard for me to use His earthly name, when He’s just God’s Son here—left a huge hole here in heaven. Heaven wasn’t the same. 
Not that God was less complete, but how can part of Him be with man and not be effected? 
It’s difficult to talk about a God Who is everywhere, yet not here, because He becomes man.
One, yet three; complete, yet needing each other. 
Oh the magnitude of our great God is indescribable! 
Though I can’t describe it, we missed Jesus here in heaven.
We watched earth with more interest and concern than we’d ever done before.

And there was much to watch.

In the wilderness, John, the Baptizer, His forerunner, preached repentance. 
When John saw Jesus, he proclaimed, “Behold, the Lamb of God Who takes away the sin of the world!”
Like a proud father, God couldn’t hold back His praise for His Son. 
The sky opened with a blinding light, and God the Father spoke, “This is My beloved Son, with Whom I am well pleased.”
Man heard thunder. 
That alone should have alerted them—thunder? With a sky so bright they’re blinded? 
Think people!!
But they do not. 
For they hold to their own righteousness—as filthy as it is!

Such a pinnacle in Jesus’s life. Such worship given to Him by His Father.
But it was not to last—for man’s life moves from high points to low points. And the next time was indeed low. 
Hard for me, as an angel, to imagine, since we have no time, nor feel as men.

The Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness. 
He had no food for 40 days. 
Why would God go without, when at His Word all things came into being?
How much He limited Himself in man’s body—to be like man. 
He was man.

If there was an adequate comparison, it would be like a man becoming a cockroach—so the cockroach could become a man.
Now, I do not rate God’s creation as one better than another, but… Man fears lions, tigers and bears—they could kill him.
Man avoids snakes—for good reason, used by the Enemy to deceive Eve.
Man calls some plants weeds. And bugs—they kill —mosquitoes, ticks, fleas. 
But cockroaches —man associates with filth and decay—for good reason, they live and eat there.
Cockroaches and man are too similar not to compare them.
Cockroaches love darkness, so does man—because his deeds are evil. 
In fact, cockroaches run from any light to the darkness.
And man runs from God.  
As if man could hide from God! 
Adam tried that in the Garden. 
So did Jonah, God’s prophet. 
Know what God did to show him he couldn’t hide from God? 
A fish swallowed him, then spit him out after he was a little repentant.

If I had a heart, I’d weep at watching man run so quickly away from God and toward the Enemy. 
But the cockroach cannot change his actions any more than man can. 
He’s just wicked. 
Like God said through his prophet, “man’s heart is desperately wicked.”
I ask myself, “WHY? Why did God want to reach man?”
God’s Spirit whispered, “Because of My great love for man.”

Well, His love would be tested by the Enemy.
After Jesus fasted forty days, the Enemy approached him. 
“If you’re the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”
Food entices all man. 
Who doesn’t give up something for food? 
All men do.
I caught myself wishing Jesus would. 
After all, He was exhausted, hungry, and weak. 
I hated to see Him like that.
Was being a man worth it? How was it wrong?
Wasn’t it time He came home, where He belonged?

Jesus couldn’t deny His desire to want to eat—His hunger was real—His weakness not to be denied.

But He was so in tune with what His Father desired, He would not put anything in His mouth without asking His Father first. 

Let me say that again, He was so in tune with what the Father desired, He would not put anything in His mouth without asking His Father first.
That’s how God wanted man to be.
I shook my head. 
The Enemy had quite a hold on man.
And man chose to stay there.

But I digress.

Jesus answered the Enemy with His Father’s Words, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
In other words, His Father had not given Him permission. 
How did He know that? 
He knew God’s will, not because He was omniscient as man, but because He spent time knowing what God wanted. 
He had just spent 40 days talking with Him! 
His purpose in coming was to serve man, not use His power to serve Himself.
He would not disobey His Father’s wishes. 

The Enemy tried to mask his disappointment. After all, this temptation had worked for Eve. And all man afterward. They do not ask, but take what they want and are caught by the Enemy’s bondage.

The Enemy took Him to the roof of the temple in Jerusalem. 
Overlooking the city, he commanded, “If you’re the Son of God, throw yourself down.”
What did he mean, “IF”!! 
He knew as well as we did, Jesus was God’s Son. How dare he insinuate Jesus was anyone except God!
I looked toward God, to see if He would motion for me to straighten the Enemy out! I would do it!

But he wasn’t finished, “For it is written, ‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift You up in their hands, so that You will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
I tensed, ready to fly to Jesus’s aid, if He would call me to catch Him. I’d be there in an instant. I’d catch him!
Wouldn’t it show He was God? No other man could leap and live. 

But He would use His power for something God did not request.
Jesus answered, “It is also written, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”
Again the Father had not told Him. Nor would He be bullied or pressured into disobedience.
I was getting this. Nothing but the Father’s Will.

The Enemy ground his teeth. His frustration evident. 
Nothing that worked with man was working with the God-man. 
The Enemy struggled to conceal his disappointment. 
This was his chance to destroy God.  
Man was stupid. 
Man can be enticed to do things to prove himself. 
Man didn’t know God’s Word well enough to discern temptations from God’s desire. 
But the Son of God couldn’t be separated from God. 
He kept God’s Word close with steady conversations with His Father.
And that protected Him from the Enemy.

Next, the Enemy took Jesus to a high mountain. Here all the kingdoms of the world with their splendor could be seen. “All this I will give you,”
He paused to allow Jesus to consider this. 
The Enemy only shows the good, he never tells all—the bondage, cost, price.
“Here’s all you have to do, ‘bow down and worship me.’

I almost laughed out loud. He held power over these kingdom only by God’s permission. He held glory, though fallen, only by God granting it.
What arrogance!
And God would never worship him.
Jesus had enough of this. “Away from Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.’”

I saw the Enemy’s face as he left. 
He was angry. 
No, furious.
He had used his devices that worked with all other men. 
But they hadn’t even touched Jesus.
Why? Because Jesus stayed close to the Father.
The Father’s Words protected Him. 

Jesus’s prayers, for that was how He kept in touch with His Father,  were constant—like breathing—essential for man.
They formed a wall of protection around Him that nothing except what the Father allowed touched Him.

I shivered at the Enemy’s expression. 
He wouldn’t be content losing this battle. 
He’d make Jesus’s time here on earth a trial. 
And just like He used Eve to get to Adam, he would use Jesus’s disciples, family and followers to get to Jesus—God’s creature, man against God again.
I knew God would be up for it, whether in man’s body or not, but I hated to see how man’s evil would grieve God.
And Jesus would be the one who would suffer for it the most.

When God called me before His throne, I went with haste.
His face shone from the pleasure from Jesus’s success. 
God sent me to minister to Jesus in the wilderness. 
He would hear from His Son.
Was I excited to see Him!
I had missed him!
When I came into the atmosphere, I noticed my hands held bread. 
Food for His empty stomach. 
He would not use His power to meet His own needs.
He trusted His Father to provide for Him, just as He told man to do.

When I reached him, He was smiling. 
I thought it was for the bread, because didn’t man depend upon food for nourishment? 
But when I reached Him, He asked, “How’s My Father?” 
I couldn’t bring His Father, and that was what He missed most.
I shared how all heaven had cheered His answers to the Enemy.
“But How’s My Father?”
I felt embarrassed. That’s why He lived. “He is well pleased.”
Jesus sighed. 
That sigh expressed such longing to be with His Father.

I remembered the bread. “Here. He sent this.” 
God provided His needs, in His time.
Jesus took it, raised His head toward heaven and closed His eyes.
His expression showed such peace and calmness, I could have stood there forever (in man’s time) watching Him.
He opened His eyes, tore off a bite and chewed slowly. 
But I knew His thoughts weren’t on the bread, but on His Father.
Another angel, sent with me, offered water for Him.
He drank and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his garment.
He lingered over his meal, savoring it, as if He could feel God’s touch in every morsel.
When He finished, He sighed.
He took another look toward heaven, and began walking towards town as if He had turned to walk to His own death. 
We watched Him until we could no longer see Him.

When I returned to heaven, God the Father called me before His throne.
He asked for every detail, not that He didn’t already know, but it was as if the news (which wasn’t news to Him), could bring Him closer to His Son.
Oh, the communion between the Father and the Son was unbreakable—except by the Son’s absence.
How I wished man was worthy! At least for man to see what sacrifice God made for His Son to be with them.
But they were blinded, ignorant and selfish, just like cockroaches.

We could feel the atmosphere tense, though we had no atmosphere in heaven, when God’s Son went to the wedding in Cana. It started something that could not be stopped.
Mary felt the tension too. She talked a lot to God too, though didn’t understand His plan.
She told Jesus their host had run out of wine—like He should do something about it.
But like so many humans, she tried to hurry God. Couldn’t she just believe God already solved the problem?
Jesus reminded her He moved in God’s time, not hers. 
All this time is so foreign to me….
So when Jesus told the servants to fill the vases and pots with water, they had already been told by Mary “to do whatever He says.”
I had to laugh at her. I felt that way many times—wanting to “help” God. When He needs no help, just obedience.

That was the beginning of His “miracles,” as man called it. 
We had already seen what God could do, we didn’t need to authenticate His Son. Didn’t the Son create everything man saw? 
But man must be shown—OVER AND OVER.
That’s why the Enemy wins so many times. 
Man so easily forgets. His memory seems worse than a cockroach!
He gets stuck in ruts of thinking that take him away from God.
Not that I know what man thinks, but as a man thinks, so his actions go.
How the Enemy rejoices!

From the wedding, Jesus recruited His followers. 
When He chose the fishermen, I gulped. 
They were two of His cousins who always got in trouble. Could they even hear God speak?
But who am I to question God’s decisions?
Jesus knew their weaknesses, but wanted them anyway.
I ask, Why?
All that comes to mind—because God’s great love for man.
(Shake head.) Beyond my comprehension.

After that first miracle, word spread about Him. 
Anywhere He went, a crowd followed. And it’s no wonder. 
A touch, a word and men were healed, blind could see, lame walked, deaf could hear, and even lepers healed. 
All at His touch or word.

I wondered at man. These were all physical things. 
Didn’t they see the spirit world? The world that lasts beyond time—forever? 
Apparently, time limits their perspective. Or at least makes them forget.

Watching from heaven, how God was pleased. His smile never left His face. His Son was reaching man.
But even as Jesus healed and touched, a shadow hung over His work, like a foreshadowing of something awful coming.

I could feel it, but I could never imagine what it was.
The Enemy knew Who had come to earth.
He didn’t like it.

Jesus cast out demons, those fallen angels who should’ve been worshipping Him, but had chosen before creation to follow Lucifer.
I thought I’d recognize them, since I knew them at the time of creation, I sang with them, but their transformation from creatures of light to followers of the Enemy changed them dramatically, I could not recognize them. Even their voices reflected the evil that now consumed them.

They were nervous around Jesus.
Rightly so, they didn’t know when God would cast them from earth.
Where would they go?
His Word spoke of an eternal flaming pit reserved for them.
They hissed and crawled before God’s Son, begging Him not to send them there yet.
It wasn’t time. But they did not know.
Although I wished it was, for they certainly made things hard for Jesus.
Especially as a man, restricted by flesh.
They still must obey Him, but they turned men against Jesus.
That was hard to watch.

Jesus never did what man expected Him to do. 
The scribes, Pharisees, and Sadducees all thought they could trick Him in a lie.
Jesus knew truth so well, a lie could not be found in Him, nor could He be tricked by one. In fact, His answers brought conviction to their lies.
Jesus wasn’t surprised by even the deceit of His own followers—because He knew man.
When the rich came to ask favors, they found He didn’t give any.

He was in the world, but the world’s ways couldn’t be found in Him.
Man’s evil didn’t rub off on Him. 
Not that He wasn’t effected by evil, for its effects ripples out beyond those who commit the evil.
Much like Adam’s sin effected God in a way man will never know. 

I was there when Jesus angered the scribes so much they wished to kill him. They tried to push Him over a cliff. 
As they brought Him to the pinnacle of the mountain, He “passed through their midst.” 
In actuality, us angels concealed Him and carried Him away.
How ironic, the Enemy quoted His foot would not be dashed, His angels would protect Him. But he didn’t expect that provision here.
But this time, it was God’s will
And we protected the God-Man.
That happened several times. 
I would think the scribes would wonder how He could escape such an obvious death…but the blindness of the Enemy kept them from seeing another miracle.

As His ministry progressed, His followers became more selective, for those who followed too closely, the Enemy made sure they lost their standing in the community. 
This seems important to man, though all it did, that I could see, was make themliked by the men who followed the Enemy.
Like the man born blind. He’d never been permitted in the Temple because of his defect.
But his parents feared dismissal from the Temple, which would affect their livelihood. So they wouldn’t give God credit or praise.
Or the rich man who asked Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life.
Jesus said, “Sell it all and follow Me.”
How easy! But he turned away sorrowful, because he had many things. 
Didn’t he know, he wouldn’t be taking those things with him in eternity?

Time must warp man’s perspective on eternity!
It’s beyond my comprehension.
But God must understand, because Jesus answered the disciples’ when they asked, “Then who can be saved?”
Jesus answered, “With man it’s impossible, but with God all things are possible.” 
Angels must have a better memory than man; how quickly man forgets!

When Jesus could calm the storm, or feed a multitude, His followers were amazed.
Did they forget it was He Who spoke nothing into all this?
I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on them, after all, angels have been around since before creation and have seen A LOT of God’s works.
But man’s life here on earth is just a whisper, then it’s gone.
Perhaps that’s why they care so much about things.
They work for food.
That’s why the Enemy thought he’d get Jesus with food.
But the God-Man has eternity in mind, even in man’s skin.

Over and over Jesus would tell them He cared enough to provide for their needs. 
Yet they doubted.
Jesus called it their little faith.
Angels must believe it—even the Enemy believes God’s Word, He just wants to change it. 
And the Enemy’s followers, those angels who follow him, live trembling that their end is coming.
We may know God’s plan, but not His timing.
That man factor of time always gets me.

Speaking of not fully understanding God’s plan….
Jesus told His disciples He must suffer and die. 
They didn’t understand.
What’s there to understand? They just needed to believe it.
Angels believe without a problem.
We’re all in. We know what God says, He will do. Without a doubt.
Man, (Shakes his head), must be told, re-told, shown, and proven. How can they not get it?

But Jesus was a good teacher. God used this next experience to show them.
Jesus took Peter, James and John to the mountain top where they saw Elijah and Moses. 
Jesus’s appearance changed, like how He was in heaven. 
I sang for His glory shone and anyone could see He was God. 
Why hadn’t He just gone to earth like that to begin with?
But I looked at the disciples and shook my head.
Then He wouldn’t reach man. Man needed someone tempted like they, yet without sin.

But still by allowing His glory to be witnessed by these three disciples, God was teaching man. 
By seeing His glory, Peter, James and John became “eyewitnesses to His deity”.
Later both Peter and John would refer to this experience in their writings, which seems to authenticate an event for man.

It fulfilled what Jesus had prophesied, “there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.” This “Son of Man coming in His kingdom” was here at the Transfiguration when the Son was glorified, witnessed by Peter, James and John. Words are important to God.

By talking with Elijah and Moses, Jesus showed His disciples He already knew them, confirming His statement,  “Before Abraham was, I AM.” 
All Israelites knew this name from their Exodus from Egypt when God showed Pharaoh He was the Supreme, One and Only God.

By meeting Elijah and Moses, Jesus also demonstrated His fulfillment of the Law (represented by Moses who received the Law), and the prophets (represented by Elijah, the prophet who did not die).

And the disciples saw His glory as God pronounced, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” 
God showed His glory visibly to the Israelites by a cloud resting on the Tabernacle. Here God’s glory rested on His Son. 
(That’s why Peter’s response to build a tabernacle seemed to him an appropriate response.)

All these lessons authenticated Jesus as God’s Son and fulfilled God’s Word. 
To. The. Last. Detail.
Yet still man did not understand.

Though we angels are to give man honor, sometimes, it’s difficult when they’re so dense to what’s obvious to us angels.

After this experience, these three disciples still didn’t get it. 
But, (sighs), man must be shown, and God must prove His faithfulness, over and over. So good of God.
How can man forget so quickly?

I’ve digressed from my story. I do get frustrated by man.
I wonder why God puts up with him!
But the Spirit always rushes to remind me, “Because of My great love for man.”
And that’s why this story continues.

I could continue telling all the miracles— it would fill books, to put it in man’s dimension, but what happened to Jesus, seemed more important.
The Enemy stirred men to jealousy—isn’t that what started his evil?
The scribes, Pharisees and Sadducees felt threatened by Jesus’s authority, power and popularity. As their hatred grew, like God’s prophets before Him, man would seek to kill Him.
But the Enemy didn’t just use men who Jesus expected to hate Him. He stirred one of Jesus’s own disciples, Judas.
Of course, the Enemy always helps man to rationalize his actions, justifying his choices.
Judas may have thought he could force Jesus to set up His kingdom now. Man likes to hurry God. That’s just as wrong as if he had done evil. 
Because it’s still man’s way not God’s.
Perhaps Judas thought Jesus would escape harm, like He’d already done. Whatever his reasons, he betrayed Jesus.

But I get ahead of my story.
Judas would tell Jesus’s plans to those who would kill Him.
Jesus kept His plans hidden.
His disciples asked, “Where should we prepare the Passover?”
Jesus’s instructions didn’t reveal where they would be, though prophesied.

He tried to prepare the disciples for His coming suffering.
The Enemy distracted them by arguing over who would be greatest!
The coming events weighed heavily on Jesus. 
The Passover symbolized what He was about to do. It all pointed to Him. The bitter herbs, reminding Israel of the bondage in Egypt, showed the bondage of sin. The bread, His body broken for man; the wine, His blood shed. All heavy on His Spirit.
And still He must correct His disciples for their pride—wanting not to serve but be served.
He commanded Judas to do what He must— like He gave Judas permission to do His evil.
Man does have that choice, yet God grants it. 
Difficult for me to understand.
But God’s still in charge, even with this evil. Nothing surprises Him. 

I could feel Jesus’s heaviness increase as the dinner progressed. 
How He choked down the bread or swallowed that wine, I don’t know.
Watching God in heaven, I grew anxious.
Something disturbed both God and His Son.
I felt compelled to watch, though could do nothing.

After eating, Jesus took His disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane. 
He’d often prayed there. 
He left His disciples to pray alone.
The intensity of His prayer alarmed me.

He always asked God’s will.
But this time, instead of submitting to God’s will with cheerfulness, Jesus struggled to want to do what God requested.
Like God was fighting God.
His anguish was great.
As a man, his body couldn’t contain the anguish.
It ruptured His blood capillaries. 
Blood oozed into His sweat glands then out through his pores. 
He sweat drops of blood. 

What had God asked His Son that He would not want to do?
I looked around me. All the other angels looked as lost as I felt.
I could not watch the Father nor the Son.
Singing was not the answer.
What could we do?
We were meant to minister to God and man.
I felt helpless. 

When Jesus arose, He returned to His disciples.
They were sleeping.
I was disgusted.
Jesus woke them and told them to pray.
He returned to pray again.
This happened again.
Didn’t they feel Jesus’s struggle?
I was angry for their lack of help, but realized I was angry because I, too, couldn’t help Him. 
I wished I could do some praying on my own. But that was not a relationship angels had with God.
Feeling helpless is not an easy feeling to acknowledge and accept.
Perhaps that should make me understand man a better.
Jesus asked His disciples, “Couldn’t you pray with me?”

What could man have done?
I didn’t have long to wait for that to be answered.

Darkness descended.
Night had come to more than that day, it had come to the world. 
The cockroaches were out in force.
With evil in their intent.

Jesus walked toward the approaching mob, led by Judas.
When Judas kissed Jesus, Jesus responded, “You betray me with a kiss?”
His actions didn’t surprise Jesus.
He knew what was in man’s heart. And it was all evil. 

Cockroaches, every last one of them. 
I wanted to spit out their existence.
Jesus asked, “Who do you seek?”
They answered, “Jesus of Nazareth.”
I AM He.”

With His words, they fell before Him.
I wanted to shout in praise, surely by falling to their knees they would recognize Him as God.
But they were man, after all, they returned to their feet and still seized Jesus.
I watched in anger and horror as they bound Him.
I wanted to scream, “This is GOD’s Son. Take your dirty hands off Him.”
I looked to the Father for any command.
His head was lowered. Like He could not watch.

The entire night—of course man measures time, and this time seemed like an eternity to me, was filled with what evil man do as justice.
Their accusations against Jesus were lies.
They couldn’t even make them consistent.
The trials, first by those who should have known God’s Law (though they broke the law many times in their trial to accuse Him),
then by those responsible for justice over the land, swayed by people’s opinion–Lies!
I wanted to scream the truth. But they would not hear.

And the beatings they gave Him. 
This was the One Who created them!
Putting a crown of thorns on His sacred head and a purple robe, the soldiers mocked the God of the Universe.

The Enemy seemed to be winning.
I could not watch.

I tried to keep my eyes on God, but He too looked awful, like the torture His Son received, was His too. 
Of course, They are One, so it did.

When that long night was over, the verdict decided, not so much by the rulers but by a mob, controlled by the Enemy.
The chant “Crucify Him” will echo throughout all time as the Enemy laughed in giddy victory.

When the Son of God hung on that tree, with a sign nailed over His head, “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews” though true, seemed a mockery.
Others, watching, chanted, “He could save others, but He can’t save Himself.”
I wanted to scream.
He could save Himself.
But He chose not to do what He wanted.

I looked at His Father.
His head down. His ever watching eyes, were closed.
I was alarmed.
I wanted to shout—DO SOMETHING.
He did. 
But not what I expected.

It was morning, but earth grew dark, like the sun refused to shine. 
It wasn’t shining here in heaven.
Darkness swept over the earth.
Such darkness as never before on the earth. 
No night could compare to its blackness. 
No star, moon, or sun’s light pierced through the darkness.
God had shut earth from His sight.

But the darkness was nothing compared to the heaviness that weighed upon the Son of God. 
The world’s sin, all of it, fell on Him. 
This blackness, like a living thing, crushed His life from Him.
Though I squinted through the darkness, I lost sight of the Son, all I could see was the sin He carried.
Its blackness, vileness, heinous evil—I shivered and turned away.

Out of the darkness, Jesus’s voice came.
Through extreme pain for each word, He spoke, “MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?”

In those words, no comfort could be found.
His anguish was felt by all in heaven. 
I could not even watch God.
Can the One and Only God be split in two?
How could the Father forsake His Son?
In those eternal moments, He had.

When I tried to see God, His head bowed, eyes closed, but the anguish on His face—was beyond description. 
This was His Son.
Abandoned by His Father.
The question hung in the air with no answer. 

When His Son had breathed His last, His head slumped to His chest in final rest.
But the Enemy laughed with glee. 
He had killed God.
He won.
He declared victory.

But God wasn’t finished.
A bolt of lightning pierced the darkness and struck the Tabernacle curtain. 
This curtain concealed the holy of holies, where God’s presence was. 
Man could never come before the holy of holies, because of His sin.
Only once a year, the high priest could enter with the sin sacrifice. 
The sin sacrifice offered atonement for the sin of the people.

That curtain represented complete separation of man from God. 
That four-inch thick curtain, where horses tied to each side could not pull the veil apart, was torn from top to bottom.
Now, because Jesus bore our sin on the cross, man could enter the presence of God.  
His Son provided the way for man to be made righteous.
Why? Why was He willing to do that?
His Spirit whispered again, “Because of My great love for man.”
I do not understand such love.
I cannot comprehend such a plan to bring man back to God.

Three days later (an eternity, even for me without time), God sent me to where they had buried Jesus.
As I appeared at the graveside, the earth quaked and trembled—not by my power, but by the power of Him Who sent me.
The soldiers standing guard fell before my presence, crying in terror.
I was given no message for them. My silence further frightened them. 

When I turned my back to them to roll the stone from the grave’s entrance, they took that opportunity to run.
I almost laughed at the speed at which they disappeared.
I did not understand their fear—they were dressed for battle, and I did not come swinging my sword, but rather to give the message sent from the Father.
I sat on the stone and waited. 

Darkness turned to light. I had never seen the sun rise within the earth’s atmosphere. Such glory and splendor! 
I smiled. The message I came to give would far surpass such glory.
I struggled to wait, for the message burned within me. Made me understand a little what man must feel within time’s limits.

The first visitors, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, came timidly, yet with determined purpose.
When they saw me, they gasped.

Do not be afraid for I know you are looking for Jesus, Who has been crucified. He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said.”

They just stood there. 
Did they not hear what I said? I gestured inside the tomb. “Come, see the place where He was lying.”
Their faces mirrored grief, then disbelief.
One of the Mary’s entered the doorway and peeked timidly inside the dark interior. She gasped, dropping her basket. 
Finally, they understood what I was saying. 

Go quickly and tell His disciples He has risen from the dead.” I seemed to be repeating myself, but I wanted them to get the message.

They just stood there. 
I wanted to swish them into action.  “Behold, He is going ahead of you into Galilee, there you will see Him.”
Their faces changed from grief to wonder. 

Hadn’t Jesus told them that He’d rise from the dead?
Though I, too, had not liked to see Him suffer, but that was over. 
He was raised in His glorified state, though carrying the scars of man’s cruelty.

I studied them, wondering what else I should say to help them understand. “Behold, I have told you.”
The women turned and ran the way they had come. 
Would the women deliver the message properly? I had my doubts!
But I was only told to tell them. I returned to the Father.

Man will never understand what it cost God.
What God lost in that Garden so long ago, when Adam disobeyed, and destroyed the communion with God, was re-established.
God made a way for man to enter His presence justified, sin-less, whole.

God redeemed man to restore fellowship with Him.
Man’s soul is made whole. Man can enter before His throne.
But even with the way provided, not all man choose God. 
And choose they must, to have Him.
Some allow the Enemy to persuade them into thinking time is all there is and eternity will not come, or that their own righteousness is good enough for God’s holiness.
If man was holy enough, would God have sent His Son to die?

God raised His Son from the dead.
He proved victory over sin and death.
The Enemy’s shouts of victory, were muffled by our songs of praise!

But the Enemy does not stay idle. He changed the glorious truth into lies. He could not allow man to believe this great story—So he spread lies and blinded men’s hearts and minds to what His resurrection means to man.
The Enemy works until that time God will send him and all his servants to a pit designed for him.

And man will be called to judgment for his choice.
It will be too late to choose God then.
All men will bow before God, his Maker, Redeemer and Just Judge, Who sees their righteousness for what it is—filthy rags.
But that time will also be a blessed time for those who confessed their sin and put on the Son’s robe, that allows God to see them righteous.

That communion won’t be interrupted.
It will have just begun.
And that will be cause for me to give God praise for all eternity.

Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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