Mom

Growing up with eight brothers and only one sister, mom known as “Sis” by the boys and treated with respect.
She had a toughness— Plowing with horses, haying with mice crawling up her pants, hauling the water to wash the dishes and laundry 12 people could make. 
She rarely spoke of her childhood. Of her dad, she mentioned once that he gave no affection though worked hard: By day as a farmer. By night in the coal mines.
No one modeled love to her. 
But they worked hard.

Coming to know Christ through a Billy Graham tent meeting as a teen, she could not attend alone, so took her brothers close to her age.
They came to know Christ too.
She learned of Bible College and went. This poor girl from the farm went to the big city of Philadelphia. 
There she met dad. 

I wish I could tell how she was treated like a queen and loved, but she wasn’t, though she gave her life to him, he gave his to others.
She remained faithful, in spite of his lack, and six girls she bore and raised. 
Affection wasn’t her strong point, but hard work was. And she gave it as if it was all she had.

The first three of us girls can remember Parker Dam trips for a cold morning swim, working on badges for Pioneer Girls with mom as our leader, books and books she bought for us that stirred our hearts to know the God she depended upon when she could share with no one her burdens. 
We’d scour the Pennsylvanian hillsides for blackberries, showing mom our rewards.
She’d leave the kitchen until our pies were finished, and our mess cleaned up— piece-meal crusts, so unlike hers. 
We’d eat as a family at 6 o’clock sharp, when dad returned from work.
She didn’t want to get old. She was young then, I thought.

Then we moved from Pennsylvania to Indianapolis, where Dad was unemployed.
Mom worked so we wouldn’t go to public school.
She became the sole provided for years as Dad stumbled from one job to another.
Her hard work fed us. This was the mom the three younger girls remember.

Mom showed her love the only way she knew how—she worked hard.
Not for the love of the job, she hated it—stocking shelves, unloading trucks.
Those heavy boxes wore on her body, especially after having six babies. The untold pain she endured just to work.
She made sure all of us completed our high school years in a Christian school.
I remember trying to do her jobs at home. They were hard.

We moved several times during those years, each year into a worse neighborhood. Her money went to make sure we were safe at school.
Her sacrifice, though unsung by the world, testifies to her love for us.
For that was how she knew to show her love.

When I married, she asked, “Are you sure?”
She kept hidden the secrets of her pain.
Mom was never a talker. But looking back, I wonder why I never asked her more of her life and dreams.
I didn’t even know when their wedding anniversary was; they never celebrated it.
Nor did we celebrate her birthday.

Years later, when answers came, clarity came too.
But a sadness at how mom’s life was lived without love, except by what she received from her girls.

I hesitated to call her. Maybe it wasn’t a good time. It seemed a bother to her. She was busy.
Joey warmed her up to a hug. Describing the first time he hugged her as hugging a board, but toward the end, she softened.
His “Happy Mother’s Day” was greeted every year with “I’m not your mother.”
But when he was deployed and his days were off, he missed calling her. She asked about it.
Those glimpses allowed into her life told she cared.
Though she didn’t know how to care back.
She worked hard to make sure every one of us girls and then the grandkids had one of her quilts.
A labor of love poured into those stitches. They embodied what she could not say.

All those silent burdens she bore—sharing with no one— wore her down—mentally, physically, 
Even when her mind drifted near the end, she never spoke of dad as a poor provider or father.
When she could not work, she was at a loss.
How could she show love, when that’s all she knew to do.
It seemed a curse.
Yet in those times, when she couldn’t do anything, even make her coffee, she saw love in the work done for her.
So hard to accept. 
Her caustic remarks or silent treatments only made it harder.

It was hard for her to receive when hard work was where she found her worth.
Toward her end, when sitting was her day, her mind couldn’t even conceive of the lives she touched by her hard work.
By her sacrifice.
By her faithfulness.
Her faithfulness kept our family together. 
It’s hard to imagine where we all would be without her.

We can easily remember the barbs her words gave, but behind them was a soul who was never loved by man.
Yet loved us dearly.
Many things that I can do are because of my mom.
She didn't officially teach me. She just showed me.
She baked, cooked, canned, cleaned—all the hard work that makes a family work.
Mom may be gone.
But what she taught us continues.
We work hard.
Clean up our own messes.
And have learned from her that love goes deeper than just words.

I write about what matters...to you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what matters...to Him.
               Sonya Contreras

Faith
Find more articles about faith here:
The Need for Meaning Even in Pain
Reminders of What's Important
God's Unmeasurable Love
A Quarter of a Century Spent for Our Country
What Were You Thinking?
Who Are You Watching?
Boundaries for a Better Life
God's Boundaries
Memories of a Hero Mom
The Ripple Effect
How Do We Think Like Jesus
Litany of a Waiting Woman
Ever Cook a Frog?
New Year's Reminders
They Galled Her Gammy
When God Speaks
A Russian Christmas Story
Be Thankful
Be Grateful
Are You Tired of the Same, Old Thing?
  (reprint)
Laughter—Why Laugh?
Mom
Are You Disturbed?
Unity of the Brothers
Encouragements To Declutter
Do You Have Too Much Stuff?
Too Much Stress
Getting Past the Noise—The Value of Silence
Are You Scatterbrained?
How Good Are You?
Looking for Something Good To Read?
A Cup of Cold Water
I Will Trust When I Cannot See
Encouragement—What Is It?
Being in God's Presence
"Einstein and the Professor"
When God Is Silent
Do You Crave Beauty?
Using Stories to Discipline
The Danger of the Wrong Story
Using Stories to Teach Lessons
God is in charge of the future
November Dare Joy Challenge
Ungratefulness
Developing an Attitude of Gratitude
Looking for Jesus
What Do Your Prayers Reflect?
Life's Little Pleasures
Daniel—Greatly Loved by God
Take Every Thought
Jars of Clay
What Do Your Words Reveal about Your Heart?
How Do You Get Strong Faith?
Too Busy for God's Word?
How Do You Think Like Jesus?
Reflections from a Mom
Pain—What's It Good For?
Why Marry?
Consider the Robin
One Life Who Made a Difference
What Day Are You Living In?
Interrupted by God
Is Jesus Really the Answer to Everything?
Are You Beat Up?
What's Your Hurry?
Are You a Manipulator?
Are You Salty?
Are You Condemned?
Trying to Understand?
Do You Expect Answers to Your Prayers?
Do You Eat Your Stress?
Need Focus?
Going through Trouble?
Immanuel—God with Us
Looking for a Relationship?
When God Says, "No!"
What Do You Do with Left-Overs?
How Great Is Your God?
Are You Needy?
How Do You See Sin?
What Do Your Words Mean?
Is Evil Overwhelming You?
Those Aha Moments
Is Your Soul Happy?
Are You Ignored?
Looking for the God Moment
Do You Know Truth from Almost Truth?
I Believe in Jesus—What Now?
Do You Have Your "Son"-Glasses On?
Less Is More
Singing His Praise
Are You Trying To Do It All?
What Do You Do with All These Prayer Requests?
Have a Problem?
Do You Know How to Pray?
Looking for God in Every Moment
Are You Receptive to God's Blessings?
Tell the Senate: Mothers Aren't Birthing People
Is Your Life Complicated?
How Do We Fight Evil?
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Giving Up or Taking Away
the Bible is simple
Are You a Dripping Faucet?
What's Your Testimony?
The Final Move
Be Careful What You Wish For!
Are Your Prayers Answered?
I Choose Joy
What Have You Learned from Your Hardship?
Who Are You Trying to Change?
What's Your Five-Year Plan?
The Danger of "Aloneness"
My Colors
Are You a Whiner?
Are Your Works Approved?
Do You Think You're Stressed?
Is Your Soul Feeling Ragged?
God Speaks to the Heart of the King
What about the Details?
Have You Felt the Long-Suffering of God?
How Does God Lead You?
Do You Have Enough?
Don't Carry More than You Need
Cast the Seed
God Is Faithful
Are You Deceived?
Are You Essential?
Are You Safe?
Are You Tired of the Same Old Thing?
Does the World Make Sense?
Have You Seen God's Majesty?
Do You Feel Judged?
If You Only Had One More Day To Live
Are You Understood?
Do You Long for the Word of God?
Slow Down and Smell the Dead Leaves
Are You Hospitable?
Our Heritage Is Bought by Blood
Are You Disturbed?
Are You Depressed?
I Did It My Way
Finding the Simple Life with Meaning
The Simple Life
Do You Have the Right Words?
Did Your Dream Die?
On the Other Side of the Fence
Marijuana, Mental Illness, and Violence
Confessions of a Desperate Mom
Saving for Tomorrow
A Wedding Remembered
Who Will Stand in the Gap?
Are You a Protector or a Ruler?
Who Are You?
Are You an Image Bearer or a Wad of Cells?
Are You a Watchman?
Where Do You Find Meaning?
The Lamb of God as Told by a Scribe
What Love Is This?
Remember: The Symbols of Passover Explained
Tea and Rest
Do You Have Peace?
What Makes a Marriage Work?
When Life Is Awful
Are You Strong Enough?
Rules
Seasons
Be Faithful through Suffering
Do You Know the Word?
Wake Up! Strengthen What Remains
Are You Spit in God's Mouth?
Is Jezebel in Your Midst?
Do You Stand Against Satan Himself?
Are You Tired of Being a Mom?
What in the World Is Happening?
It's Not My Story
How Would Your Faith Compare?
Are You Sinking?
Are You a Rule Follower?
Useful for Him
An Intimate Moment with Mary
The Worldview that Makes the
   Underclass
Thoughts to Ponder
What Does It Take To Know the
    Heart of God?
See the Story in the Stars
Do the Scriptures Burn You?
Being in His Presence
Contentment: It's Not for the Timid
How Secure Are You?
How Do You Respond To Stupid People?
The Earthworm Is My Hero
Heart Issues or Issues of the Heart
Things Aren't Always What They Seem
More faith articles are found here:

under the Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Or here:

under the Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Articles on Suffering can be found  here, 

under Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Special Days
Remember: The Symbols of 
   Passover Explained    
Aug 12, 2017 The Heavens Declare the Glory of God
July 4th, Freedom
What Is an American Soldier?
Valentine's Day: A Day of Love?
Memorial Day-A Day To Remember
Veterans' Day-To Honor Our Men
Fall Colors
First Thanksgiving Day
    Proclamation
Christmas: Stories behind the Songs
Christmas: Stories behind the Songs, part 2