A Way to a Man's Heart Is through His Stomach

My husband’s office runs like clockwork. Patients, Drug Reps and others who come have commented on how well the office is run. There is a peace and calmness about it. Why? No one is bickering about who should do what. Everyone knows what they are suppose to do, and they do it. He tells the ladies their job is to make his job easier. They prepare the way for him to cut out the cancer and calm the patient. He is able to give that special attention to each patient, because the ladies have prepared them for his job.

Shouldn’t our homes be run like that too?
Recently, a friend was sharing about her son’s wife. The wife had quit her job because it was “too stressful.” Now she stayed at home. Our friend was commenting that the wife didn’t even send a bottle of water for her husband’s lunch. Her son would call her (the mom) and ask if she could bring him lunch and she worked full-time. She said something is wrong.

Women were created to support their man, to be his help-meet.

The saying, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is still true today.

I always thought that saying meant that the wife had to be an excellent cook in order to win her husband when they dated. And that may be true. Although when we got married, my husband wondered if I could cook. We meant in grad school and I ate out of the trunk of my car, where I kept a bag of potatoes and added various toppings to make a meal. He had been concerned that I would feed him only potatoes when we married. He's since learned otherwise.
Maybe that’s one reason why our marriage is still strong.
Not that he’s willing to eat potatoes, but that I feed him and that he's willing to eat what I feed him.
I make him food he likes.
Men are a lot like dogs. If you feed them, they’ll be your friend for life.
They’ll stay home and won’t wander. They’ll be loyal.

What if you can’t cook?
Can you follow directions? That’s what a recipe is.
We were told in premarital counseling about one couple. The girl made macaroni and cheese but didn’t cook the macaroni (back then it didn’t tell you to on the box). She knew her husband loved her when he sat and crunched through that meal of flavored, uncooked noodles. (The boxes now have instructions on cooking the macaroni before serving it.)
Even if you can cut up an onion and boil it in water, that smell can give the false impression that something good is going to come. If that's all you can do, do it and try to get better at it.

A lot of burnt or undercooked meals can be forgiven, if the wife cooks for her husband.
Always with a newborn, we had burnt rice. The baby would decide after I started cooking the rice, that it was his time for a marathon nursing session. I was stuck, smelling my rice burn and not able to turn off the burner.
My husband ate it and thank me. He knew it would get better later, probably much later.

My husband would forget to eat, or not think it’s worth the bother of fixing something, if I didn’t make him something to eat.
I make my husband lunch. Remember last week’s article? His army unit and battalion know I love my husband because I send snacks with him. Such a little thing. But it’s considering what he needs. After he jumps out of a plane, he’s thirsty, and maybe hungry. By giving him snacks, I respect what he does. I help him do what he must.

I do the same for his lunch at work. If he has to get his meal, he won’t take the time or money, so I send a lunch.
Simple, but says a lot. It tells him I respect what he does to provide for our family.

Is it significant that verse 15 of the Proverbs 31 woman comes before verse 23?
“She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household.” Proverbs 31:15
“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” Proverbs 31:23 (The leaders sat in the gates.)
Because the Proverbs woman feeds her family, her husband is able to focus on leading others.

Do you want to do something with long reaching impact? Reach your man through his stomach.

Know what he likes and does not like.
One of the best pieces of advice we received before marriage was for Joey to tell me when he doesn’t like a meal. That way I don't make what he doesn't like. He isn’t picky and eats anything, but I know he likes his rice soggy, his food mixed together, and not too spicy, his eggs over-easy, his bacon not crispy. When the boys complain about how something is made, I tell them that I make it for their dad.

Can my husband cook? He was a baker at Marie Calendar’s. He would make 250 pies for Thanksgiving. (I was intimidated to make pies for the first 20 years of our marriage. Now I finally make pies, under request from the boys.)
He was a chef at a high-end restaurant in Carmel where he prepared the menu.
But when he married me, he allowed me to serve him. This enabled him to focus on what he should do.

What am I saying? You have to cook all the time to show your husband you love him?
The question is not, “Do you have to?” If that helps him stay focused on what he should be doing, that’s what you do.
You do what it takes to help him.

When my husband comes home, dinner is ready for him. He’s worked hard all day. Sometimes he hasn’t even stopped for lunch. He’s hungry.
When I’m hungry, I’m crabby. I can help prepare the tone for our evening together by taking care of his needs, before crabby becomes cross.
A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Feed him and make him happy.
Not only will you reach his stomach, but you will hold his heart.

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I write about what you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
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I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what Him.
               Sonya Contreras

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Tell of My Kingdom's Glory
Three Book Series



Women's Roles
Find other articles about women's roles here:
The Sacrifice of Obedience
Why Boys Fight? And Is that Good?
Is Your Family Different?
Created for Him reprint
Gender Differences Backed by Science
What Should Men Do? reprint
Where Are the Men? reprint
What Is Man? reprint
Man VS Woman: Making Man Act Like a Woman
Man VS Woman: Is It Eqality We Seek? reprint
How Do You See Sin?
Marriage Is a Covenant before God
Are You Precious?
What's a Mother-In-Law To Do?
A Promise Is a Promise
Happily Ever After
Point Lobos, Monterrey
Where You Go, I Will Go
Protecting Our Men
What Makes a Marriage Work?
And the Two Shall Be One
Do You Let Your Husband Love You?
An Added Resource for You
Is Jezebel in Your Midst?
Can You Say, "No"?
Are You Losing Your Mind?
Expect Great Things from God
The Making of a Man part 4
The Making of a Man part 3
The Making of a Man part 2
The Making of a Man
What Kind of a Crown Are You?
Do You Like Your Husband?
Is Your Husband a Pushover?
Did You Marry a Crazy Man? 
Is Your Husband Crushing You?
Are You Dependent?
Male vs Female: Is It Equality We Seek?
Are You a Nag?
Do You Have a Picky Eater?
A Way to a Man's Heart Is through His Stomach
Are You Challenged by Your Man's Challenges?
Happily Ever After
Are You Appreciated?
Do You Feel Loved?
Valentine's Day: A Day for Love?
Valentine's Day: Help Your Husband Out

Created for Him
Do You Help Your Husband?
Made To Conquer

Women Working
How Much Does It Cost for Moms To Work?
How Much Does It Cost for Moms To Stay at Home?
Margaret Thatcher, She Changed the
    World, But What about Her 

Biblical Manhood
Find more articles about Biblical Manhood here:
What Is Man?
Where Are the Men?
What Should a Man Do?

Biblical Womanhood
Find more articles about Womanhood here:
What Is Your Choice?
Letting Him Protect
Are You a Friend?
Who Controls the Money?
The Sacrifice of Thanksgiving: How 
   To Make Your Husband Love You

The Power of a Smile: How To 
    Make Your Husband Love You

Superwoman: Is She Believable?

Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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