Lies We Believe: Part 2

Following the article about Believing A Lie, last week we considered five Lies We Believe. This week we will continue this series with lies that touch closer to home and family.

6. Marriage is not important, love is.

Marriage is a promise before God made by a man and a woman to stay with each other, until death parts them.

Some ask, “How does that piece of paper mean anything?”

Ephesians 5:32 says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

When a couple unites in marriage, there is a physical, emotional and spiritual bond established that God sanctions as good. Their commitment to each other shows the world that God’s Word is true.

Satan battles against every couple. If he destroys a family, he furthers his cause.

If the couple is not married, Satan has convinced them that obedience to God’s Word is not important.

The other lie propagated from this statement is that if love is no longer there, the marriage should cease. Divorce is then acceptable.

Since God established the family unit, what does He think about ending it? “For I hate divorce, says the Lord…” (Malachi 2:16) “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released…” (I Corinthians 7:27)

[It is beyond the scope of this article to explain other passages dealing with divorce, but what God hates, I should hate, too.]

7. Marriage is a 50/50 partnership.

The Bible speaks clearly that this is not true. “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” And “wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22-23) See also the Biblical Manhood Series and Biblical Womanhood Series for further elaboration.

8. Disciplining a child will lead to child abuse.

I am speaking of discipline within these guidelines.

The opposite of this statement is true. If you do not discipline, you will lash out in anger to correct big problems, because you did not deal with them when they were small.

“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15)

9. Reason with your child. Then they will obey.

A child under eight years old cannot reason. Do you want your child to ask “Why?” as they run into the busy street?

They obey, then we explain (if needed). Some things a child cannot understand.

God does not explain all His rules to us either. We could not understand them even if He did.

10. Education changes behavior.

The government is full of programs that are based on this premise. They seek to education and rehabilitate alcoholics, drug addicts, smokers, but they largely fail.


It’s a problem of the heart, not education.

Paul describes the struggle: “For I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate…for I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not…But I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.” (Romans 7:15,19, 23)

Only those who find Christ have a heart change that makes the will change.

11. Let your baby cry or you’ll spoil him.

They say, “Leaving a baby crying in their crib makes them independent.”

Do you want an independent baby?

I want a secure baby.

His cries tell me something is wrong. He needs help. He cannot tell me when he is afraid. So like our Father, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid…” (Hebrews 13:6). I go to God and find security. Could a mother do any less?

Proverbs tells us to discipline our children. It does not mention disciplining babies.

The Scriptures instead refer to the comforting mother, as God comforts us. “Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb?” (Isaiah 49:15) I can hold my baby when he cries even if he doesn’t have a physical need. That is comfort.

12. All they need is love and they will do right.

I do not discount a mother’s love. It can do a lot, but it cannot solve everything.

Drug and alcohol babies grow up with developmental problems, inability to understand consequences, and violent outbursts. Love alone cannot fix these things.

Yes, love is needed. Love that will not excuse their behavior because of what was done to them, but stays consistent so they learn consequences. Love that hates disobedience, but loves the child. That’s not a love that I have. I must depend on my Father’s love for helping them do right.

13. Love always holds on.

When your child has chosen wrong and is no longer young, love lets them go. In the Old Testament, we are told: “If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son…, his father and mother shall …bring him out to the elders of his city…and stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst.” ( Deuteronomy 21:18-21).

The prisons are full of criminals whose mothers say they love them. These mothers ‘help’ their wayward child. These mothers soften God’s blow. He cannot get their attention, so the blow becomes harder.

Sometimes, love lets go. Letting go is never easy, but when they hold to God, Who holds their child, the letting go is easier. See a mom's struggle.

Lies that we believe…When I let go of God’s Hand, I can easily become deceived by Satan’s lies. He offers ease, comfort, the popular way.

When I allow God’s Word to grab me, I see the lies for what they are: lies against God’s authority, against His Word, against Him. I can choose to obey the God Who knows how it all works best, even if it will be harder, without comfort, and unpopular.

Lies cannot overpower the truth of His Word.

His Word cannot stay in my heart without making a difference in the way that I live.


Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.


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Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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