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What is Essential for Babies?

I recently went to a baby shower. Lot’s have changed since I’ve had children!
I remember our birth of our first born…the pain has gone away, but the words of my midwife linger. “Babies don’t need anything. He just needs you.”
We didn’t have a nursery…we shared an apartment with a friend, so we had one room and a kitchen.
We didn’t have a crib. He slept with us.
We didn’t need a baby bath. Joey sat in the bath with the baby.
We didn’t need bottles. We just nursed on demand, when he wanted, as he long as needed.
We didn’t use pacifiers. When he fussed, I nursed.
We didn’t need playpens. I carried him in a sling when I worked, until I could put him down asleep.
When we traveled, we put him down in a padded suitcase or a drawer that we put on the ground, as I worked beside him.
The diaper bag was ready to grab and go.
My first baby had a rash whenever I used disposable diapers. I used cloth. I allowed him to air dry when changing him. Joey never rushed his diaper changing time; while he allowed him to air-dry, he used it as his special time with each one.
We gave security, assurance, ourselves.

Babies don’t need things.
It’s the moms that need things. The comfort of a night’s sleep, or just a nap, or not to be sore from nursing, or to watch what I ate so the baby would be happy. (Who would have thought me drinking milk would made him colicky?)
Big changes. Unexpected things that no one told me about.
I was always hungry.
I had a little one always dependent upon me.
How was I even to take a shower? With major preparation, I took him into the bathroom in his car seat. Until I started waiting for my husband to be at home.
There was no time away. I never left our children with anyone until our sixth baby had to be born in a hospital. We couldn't bring our other children with us.
Our seventh baby was born while Joey was deployed. He was trying to get home. I needed extra surgery. The doctor said, either nurse and don't heal, or you give bottles and let your body heal. I gave bottles and cried.
Friends took our baby and brought him home for 'visits' with me until I could hold him without pain. That was the first time any of our boys were not with either my husband or I. Hard times. Growing times.

I felt so inadequate. I prayed more. Yet I couldn’t read His Word; I’d drift to sleep.
God made me more dependent not less, to search for Him.
Was this a paradox? Simple is better. Less is more. Dependent is right.
He was using that time to mold me. To make me less selfish. To grow my love deeper.
So often, in my frustration to get that baby asleep, I would become angry from his constant crying. I’d finally tell him, “Shut up and sleep…”
He would. I would watch him breath, his long lashes covering his cheeks and wonder, “Why couldn’t I hold my anger one more moment?”

What’s essential for babies?
That their parents search God’s face with their total being.
That will give what is essential to the baby…a glimpse at their Heavenly Father.
Isn’t that why we were made? To please the Father and to love Him.
And show our children to do the same.



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I write about what matters...to you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what matters...to Him.
               Sonya Contreras

Motherhood
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Letting Go of my Fourth Son
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Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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