Freedom To Choose
My husband and I give our boys choices. When they were small, they could choose oatmeal or granola for breakfast. But as they matured, they were given more freedom.
As their ability to make wise (or not) choices grew, so did my prayer life. By the time they became teenagers and young adults entering life, the decisions they made were life-changing, could destroy or add to their life in huge ways.
I could be one of those controlling mothers who made their decisions for them. But did I want to think for them for the rest of their lives? Didn’t I have trouble thinking clearly for what I needed to do?

But nor do I like feeling helpless.

Then I thought of God. He made Adam and Eve. He gave them only one thing not to do. Don’t eat of the Tree of Good and Evil. He didn’t hover. He didn’t make them obey. He gave them a choice. And the freedom to disobey.
They certainly choose. But it wasn’t for their best.
And it did have grave consequences.
God allow them to choose.
He loved them that much.
If God loved His created son enough to allow the freedom to make bad decisions, shouldn’t I?
He didn’t change the consequences. Nor manipulate the situation so they wouldn’t hurt so much when they chose poorly.
He loved them enough to let them suffer through their consequences.
But nor did He turn His back on them.
He provided redemption.
Again, it wasn’t forced on them.
He waited.

When they finally decided to ask, (again it was their choice), He had a plan that would bring them back into fellowship with Him.
Isn’t that the very reason God created him…to know Him?
So we see the choice is ours to make, just like our children.
When we allow our children the freedom to live their lives, they don’t fly the coop and never come back…they soar like eagles, how God meant for them. And sometimes they come back to rest and we experience a pride that we allowed them to become who God wanted them do be. Made for Him.

My soaring days seem over. Maybe even a permanently exhausted pigeon can still sit on her roost and watch her little brood soar, and experience a fluttering in her heart that God is known better. 


Displaying all 2 comments

Boy, a LOT has happened in these past eight years! But your article is still very applicable to us with adult children. We still want to hover at times, but it's also a big relief to have given up the responsibility of being their conscience. I'm able to pretty much leave things up to each of them and usually they do all right. When they don't, I'm willing to listen but only give advice if asked. Usually they don't ask.

This was really good. It's not easy letting go, but you're right, it's a wonderful feeling to see our brood become young adult who are soaring. This pigeon, though, is too tired to soar!

I write about what you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what Him.
               Sonya Contreras

Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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