Are You Threatened?

Before you wiz on over to pinterest and get distracted, stay with me for the article.

Are you threatened?
As women, we compare ourselves with ourselves. Joey’s told me, “Women don’t dress for their husbands, they dress for other women.” And it’s true.

Do you look on Pinterest and think, “This should be easy enough for me to do”? And then do it, but it ends in disaster? I pin those humor contrasts. They're hilarious on Pinterest; they aren’t when I do it. How could I mess up something so easy?

My daughter-in-law makes beautiful sugar cookies for her girls to decorate. Even after the girls pile on inches of icing (they are 4 and 1 years old), they look gorgeous. Me? I can make round or square cookies, but only on a good day. I’ve sent her all my cookies forms, I won’t try anymore. Hers will look wonderful.

Early in our marriage, Joey told me he made Marie Calendar pies (all 500 of them for Thanksgiving.) I remember growing up, making my patch-work pie crusts. Making pies was an exercise in frustration for me. I didn’t make them again until we were married 25 years. Mine wouldn’t hold up to Marie Calendar’s (even though my husband never said anything, but "this is good.") But the boys requested them.
I was hesitant to make salsa because my mother-in-law’s salsa is the “best” by everyone's standard. Until my son asked for her recipe. He said he'd try to make it. I guess, salsa is that important to have, even if it isn't the "best" every time.

One woman told how her husband said, “My sister makes the best cookies.” So, his wife let her sister-in-law continue to make him cookies and she (his wife) wouldn't.

I told my husband I shouldn’t visit people. Why? Because I saw what they had and how they decorated and felt insecure, discontent, and frustrated with what I could do.

And my meals...look like a throw together mess, even when I try to make them special.

As I matured, or maybe as I ran out of energy, I realized I needed to be content with who I was—clutzy craft person that I am. Or on what I could invest…maybe my money's spent on the boys’ needs, but couldn’t I have nice decorations for my table too?

Do I accept defeat?
Guilt would hound me. My boys need some culture. They shouldn’t always have to serve their meals out of a pan (even though practically who needs another dish to wash and doesn’t everyone want their mashed potatoes hot?)

I’m again inspired by looking for cheap ideas for Thanksgiving decorations, (but not cheap looking,) that will encourage my family and remind me, we have much to give thanks for.

I pin the classic, fancy decorations for inspiration, but gravitate to the dollar store or even scavenger-in-the-yard kind, because I’ve spent my grocery money again on food and it’s about time to fork out the $300+ on underwear and socks for the boys’ Christmas gifts. And they need t-shirts and work gloves, and jeans and…so never mind the decorations for Thanksgiving. Who needs them anyway?

Yet when I see a beautifully arranged centerpiece, I do pause to appreciate the beauty God has given.

Am I to give up when others do things better?

God gives the answer. When John asked how others would serve him. Jesus told him in so many words, “Mind your own business.” Really He said, “What is that to you?” John 21:22

Threatened by another’s abilities? Feeling insecure by what you can’t do?

Just do what God tells you to do, today.

Displaying all 3 comments

You really did hit us where it hurts today. Yes, we all compare ourselves to others in one way or another. I can bake pies and cookies, but I go to my friend's house which is decorated for the holidays and it is just SO beautiful. Have to remind myself that I really don't care that much to spend all that money and time to make mine that way. Have you ever thought that some might be jealous of your ability to write? We all have our gifts, and as you quoted, "What is that to you?"

Thanks for sharing this, especially at this time of year when we see those "perfect women" doing this "impossible" things. I've been in those homes where you just droll with envy over the new and perfect everything, and then you hear the woman berate her husband or use bad language. And you realize they don't "have it all" they actually have very, very little when it comes to what counts. Kids will always remember a happy, content, loving mom and will never remember the fancy cakes and cookies. Thanks for being vulnerable Sonya. Keep up the good work!

Excellent thoughts, Sonya. We all struggle with comparing and some of us have a very hard time with "accepting defeat" as you say. Thanks for these words!

I write about what you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what Him.
               Sonya Contreras

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Tell of My Kingdom's Glory
Three Book Series



Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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