Believing a Lie

April 29, 2015

Can you believe anyone? Is there such a thing as a little lie?

As men move away from God, the Bible tells that they “exchanged the truth of God for a lie.” (Romans 1:25)

How can you tell when someone is lying?

My boys recently played a game with someone they had just met. He showed them a card from a deck of cards without seeing it himself. He would then ask them questions. They could only answer ‘no’ but had to look him in the eye. He guessed which card they had seen by their reaction to his questions.

After playing the game with several of my boys, the man said that they were good liars. Should I be concerned?

How do you spot a liar?

Looking for nervousness is a weak indicator. Some liars are so good and confident that they don’t think they will get caught. Others lie to themselves, and do not know truth.

Lying is hard because it makes one think. Lying suppresses the truth and tries to make a falsehood believable and convincing. This takes time and concentration—clues of a liar.

Signs when someone is thinking hard:
1. They blink less.
2. They fidget less.
3. They gesture or move less.
4. Their answer takes longer.
5. They pause.
6. Instead of saying “I, me, and my,” they say, “he, him, and her.”
7. They avoid answering a direct question by asking another question or changing topics.

Don’t look for tension, nervousness, and anxiety. Look for them thinking, referring to ‘them’, and being evasive.

How do the experts detect lies?
They make the person think harder—to magnify the signals of lying.
Ask them to tell the story backwards. Is it the same story?
Ask general questions then move to specific.
Ask open-ended questions for details. Tell me more about…. Tell me exactly…
Don’t interrupt. Let them talk.
Use silence to encourage them to talk.

Who must you be wary of?

It’s not the dumb people. Remember, they must think hard to lie well.
Smarter and more creative people make better liars. Who tells better stories?
Students who are more creative cheat more.

A Canadian study of 1200 children aged 2-17 suggests that those who are able to lie have reached an important developmental stage. Does that mean we should be glad when our children reach a point when they can lie? That they have reached a desired stage? That they can think enough to tell a convincing story?

Or does it mean that you’ve reached another obstacle of training for truth?
Do you answer “Yes, I have read and understand the terms and conditions" on all downloads that you make? Have you really read them? Who’s telling the lies now?

Jesus said, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32)

The truth starts and ends with God. How close to Him are you?     
I have a ways to go. But when I cling to truth, I am free.

Scripture Taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Any stories about who you believed but should not have?
Any helps on dealing with your children when they lie?

I was doing pretty well until you hit me with "I have read and understand......." You really don't expect me to do that, do you?! You are right, we all have trouble with lying, even if it's only "little" lies, it's a problem.

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Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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