Did You Marry a Crazy Man?

There are three types of men. They represent the triune Godhead: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Recognize that your man isn’t the perfect image of the Godhead, only a representative of Him. If you can identify what type of leader your man is, you will identify how to better meet his needs. (Most are not just one type, but a mixture. Look for the dominate style for your direction.)

Last week we looked at the man who is like the Father. Someone mentioned I put all the responsibility of getting along on the wife. It takes two people to get along. I'm not here telling you how to change your man (which we know we can't do, but insist on trying.), I write to women to help them be better helpmeets for their husbands.
I also should have mentioned this information is gleamed from Debi Pearl's book Created To Be His Helpmeet.

This week we look at the man who is like the Holy Spirit. He is the mover, shaker, changer, and dreamer. He’s like the men who conquered the Wild West, not the farmers who settled it. He instigates change, like the street preachers, or the political activists. He thrives on confrontation, communicating with words, music, art, or actions. He enjoys discussing ideas, plans and dreams. He seeks out what is wrong to correct it. He can be very tunnel-vision, only seeing one issue to the exclusion of everything else. He’s a trailblazer, getting things done. He doesn’t know how to comfort.

How do you help a man like that?
This man needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife with a positive life view.
Be willing to be rich or poor. He will invest everything, and may lose it all. Or win.
Working a regular 8 to 5 job will be difficult for him. When he starts a project, he may work non-stop until it’s finished.
Be flexible. If you can enjoy the ride rather than think of the destination, you will survive.
Support him. Without you, he feels alone. Consider Edison. He focused on making a lightbulb. After 999 failures, he found success. Consider his wife. She had to believe in him, not just his project, to encourage him while he forgot everything else, including her, to solve that problem.
Do not criticize him. The words “I told you so” should never be on your lips.
You won’t change his scatterbrain ideas or even his scatterbrain. But you will destroy your marriage if you try. Instead listen. And support.
Don’t expect normal. Be ready for change. You won’t be disappointed.
It’s important that he is right and he is in charge. Give him the credit. If he’s not right, take the blame.
He shares everything with you, the good and bad. He can focus on the negative and forget that life has a good side. You must be objective, use common sense and be positive.
Because of his tunnel-vision, give him glimpses of the big picture.
Guard against negative comments about people. If he hears, by your feelings, that someone mistreated you, he will rescue you by breaking off a friendship. He may even withdraw and become suspicious of everyone.
Don’t take offense easily. Sorry comes hard for him. He doesn’t comfort, so be tough.

As my husband prayed for our boys, I prayed for my boys’ wives. Some of these women will have to be tough, not hurt by my son’s thoughtless comments. And strong to be joyful through his mood swings.

But these women, if they learn to support and encourage their man who leads like the Spirit, will find a depth of living no other will find, a roller-coaster ride to be sure, but oh what fun they’ll have.

Pearl, Debi. Created To Be His Help Meet. Pleasantville, TN: No Greater Joy, 2004. pp. 75-93.

What helps can you share about helping a man like the Spirit?

I write about what you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what Him.
               Sonya Contreras

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Tell of My Kingdom's Glory
Three Book Series