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A Way to a Man's Heart Is through His Stomach

My husband’s office runs like clockwork. Patients, Drug Reps and others who come have commented on how well the office is run. There is a peace and calmness about it. Why? No one is bickering about who should do what. Everyone knows what they are suppose to do, and they do it. He tells the ladies their job is to make his job easier. They prepare the way for him to cut out the cancer and calm the patient. He is able to give that special attention to each patient, because the ladies have prepared them for his job.

Shouldn’t our homes be run like that too?
Recently, a friend was sharing about her son’s wife. The wife had quit her job because it was “too stressful.” Now she stayed at home. Our friend was commenting that the wife didn’t even send a bottle of water for her husband’s lunch. Her son would call her (the mom) and ask if she could bring him lunch and she worked full-time. She said something is wrong.

Women were created to support their man, to be his help-meet.

The saying, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is still true today.

I always thought that saying meant that the wife had to be an excellent cook in order to win her husband when they dated. And that may be true. Although when we got married, my husband wondered if I could cook. We meant in grad school and I ate out of the trunk of my car, where I kept a bag of potatoes and added various toppings to make a meal. He had been concerned that I would feed him only potatoes when we married. He's since learned otherwise.
Maybe that’s one reason why our marriage is still strong.
Not that he’s willing to eat potatoes, but that I feed him and that he's willing to eat what I feed him.
I make him food he likes.
Men are a lot like dogs. If you feed them, they’ll be your friend for life.
They’ll stay home and won’t wander. They’ll be loyal.

What if you can’t cook?
Can you follow directions? That’s what a recipe is.
We were told in premarital counseling about one couple. The girl made macaroni and cheese but didn’t cook the macaroni (back then it didn’t tell you to on the box). She knew her husband loved her when he sat and crunched through that meal of flavored, uncooked noodles. (The boxes now have instructions on cooking the macaroni before serving it.)
Even if you can cut up an onion and boil it in water, that smell can give the false impression that something good is going to come. If that's all you can do, do it and try to get better at it.

A lot of burnt or undercooked meals can be forgiven, if the wife cooks for her husband.
Always with a newborn, we had burnt rice. The baby would decide after I started cooking the rice, that it was his time for a marathon nursing session. I was stuck, smelling my rice burn and not able to turn off the burner.
My husband ate it and thank me. He knew it would get better later, probably much later.

My husband would forget to eat, or not think it’s worth the bother of fixing something, if I didn’t make him something to eat.
I make my husband lunch. Remember last week’s article? His army unit and battalion know I love my husband because I send snacks with him. Such a little thing. But it’s considering what he needs. After he jumps out of a plane, he’s thirsty, and maybe hungry. By giving him snacks, I respect what he does. I help him do what he must.

I do the same for his lunch at work. If he has to get his meal, he won’t take the time or money, so I send a lunch.
Simple, but says a lot. It tells him I respect what he does to provide for our family.

Is it significant that verse 15 of the Proverbs 31 woman comes before verse 23?
“She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household.” Proverbs 31:15
“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” Proverbs 31:23 (The leaders sat in the gates.)
Because the Proverbs woman feeds her family, her husband is able to focus on leading others.

Do you want to do something with long reaching impact? Reach your man through his stomach.

Know what he likes and does not like.
One of the best pieces of advice we received before marriage was for Joey to tell me when he doesn’t like a meal. That way I don't make what he doesn't like. He isn’t picky and eats anything, but I know he likes his rice soggy, his food mixed together, and not too spicy, his eggs over-easy, his bacon not crispy. When the boys complain about how something is made, I tell them that I make it for their dad.

Can my husband cook? He was a baker at Marie Calendar’s. He would make 250 pies for Thanksgiving. (I was intimidated to make pies for the first 20 years of our marriage. Now I finally make pies, under request from the boys.)
He was a chef at a high-end restaurant in Carmel where he prepared the menu.
But when he married me, he allowed me to serve him. This enabled him to focus on what he should do.

What am I saying? You have to cook all the time to show your husband you love him?
The question is not, “Do you have to?” If that helps him stay focused on what he should be doing, that’s what you do.
You do what it takes to help him.

When my husband comes home, dinner is ready for him. He’s worked hard all day. Sometimes he hasn’t even stopped for lunch. He’s hungry.
When I’m hungry, I’m crabby. I can help prepare the tone for our evening together by taking care of his needs, before crabby becomes cross.
A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Feed him and make him happy.
Not only will you reach his stomach, but you will hold his heart.



How do you reach your man through his stomach?
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Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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